David Gives Himself A Pep-Talk
“Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts. They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths. You have charged us to keep your commandments carefully. Oh, that my actions would consistently reflect your decrees! Then I will not be ashamed when I compare my life with your commands. As I learn your righteous regulations, I will thank you by living as I should! I will obey your decrees. Please don’t give up on me!”
-Psalms 119:1-8 NLT
One of my favorite people in the Bible is David. I feel like I understand him a little. He screwed up so many times and did things that many would see as unforgivable. So why then is he called a man after God’s heart? David was a passionate man. He understood what it is to be on his knees crying out to the Lord. He didn’t hide his emotions from God. He also understood true repentance. Reading Psalms feels a bit like reading a journal written by David. It’s full of ups and downs and there are entire sections that are pretty depressing to read. David felt deeply his joys and his sorrows. When I read Psalms, I feel a sort of kinship, because my own journal is full of ups and downs. I've tried to keep my writing more up beat at times, but the reality is that writing in my journal is my safe place. It is where I am able to express without any filter my raw emotions. It is where I process those emotions. I see a similar theme in Psalms, where it begins one way and almost as a prayer, ends differently. It's as if he was processing his emotions as he wrote them down. I may be reading too much into this, or just assuming that's what he felt because it's what I feel, but I can't deny that Psalms is full of emotion. So. much. emotion. It also seems like he talks himself down a lot. As in the above passage, it starts with a statement,
"Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts."
He states this as a known fact, asserting that joy is the result of following the Lord's instructions and searching for him with all our heart. Then he continues saying,
"They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths."
He goes into further detail of what a person of integrity does and how they behave. I wonder if he was writing this to remind himself of this truth.
"You have charged us to keep your commandments carefully."
Now he's switched from a statement to a prayer, he's no longer writing to himself, now he's writing to the Lord.
"Oh that my actions would consistently reflect your decrees! Then I will not be ashamed when I compare my life with your commands. As I learn your righteous regulations, I will thank you by living as I should! I will obey your decrees. Please don't give up on me!"
This is where I see the depth of emotion in his writing. How many times have I prayed a similar prayer? "God please help me to live as you say I should! Help my life to be a reflection of you! Don't give up on me!" Prayers like that don't come from a person who has never messed up. This is a prayer from a man who is desperate. He recognizes that his actions do not always reflect God's decrees and he desires to be counted as righteous. He shows that he is still learning and states that he'll show his thanks by living as he should. The last two statements feel especially desperate to me. Almost like he was saying to God and to himself, "I will obey your decrees." And crying out to God, "Please don't give up on me!" He knows he's messed up many times before and he is passionately crying out to the Lord to not give up on him.
So. Much. Emotion.
Passages like this are a big part of why I identify with David. I feel like he gets it. Gets me. It reminds me that if God can use David, then he can use me too. The devil likes to tell lies and plant seeds of doubt to make us think we've messed up too many times. God won't forgive you this time, or if you can't handle x, y, and z, how are you strong enough to be used by God? These lies try to keep us frozen, but thankfully, David had this really great habit, where he always ran back to the Lord. He always recognized that he couldn't do it without God. Sometimes I try to handle things in my own strength. It's in these times that I feel the most stressed and anxious, and it's in these times that things most often seem to fall apart. When I make like David and run back to God, everything else makes sense.
Literally.
The puzzle pieces that I've been forcing to fit? They fit. It just works. I wonder how many times I'm going to have to fall on my face till I finally figure out that God's ways are truly the best ways. Judging by this passage, David needed to remind himself plenty that following the Lord's decrees brings joy. I'm guessing that wasn't the first time he needed reminding and it wasn't the last. It won't be the last time for me either. I'm so thankful that God always welcomes me back and forgives me when I run back to him. I'm thankful for the example of David, who stumbled so many times but got back up again and again. I'm thankful that God can handle my emotions and loves me more than I can ever imagine.
"Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts."
He states this as a known fact, asserting that joy is the result of following the Lord's instructions and searching for him with all our heart. Then he continues saying,
"They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths."
He goes into further detail of what a person of integrity does and how they behave. I wonder if he was writing this to remind himself of this truth.
"You have charged us to keep your commandments carefully."
Now he's switched from a statement to a prayer, he's no longer writing to himself, now he's writing to the Lord.
"Oh that my actions would consistently reflect your decrees! Then I will not be ashamed when I compare my life with your commands. As I learn your righteous regulations, I will thank you by living as I should! I will obey your decrees. Please don't give up on me!"
This is where I see the depth of emotion in his writing. How many times have I prayed a similar prayer? "God please help me to live as you say I should! Help my life to be a reflection of you! Don't give up on me!" Prayers like that don't come from a person who has never messed up. This is a prayer from a man who is desperate. He recognizes that his actions do not always reflect God's decrees and he desires to be counted as righteous. He shows that he is still learning and states that he'll show his thanks by living as he should. The last two statements feel especially desperate to me. Almost like he was saying to God and to himself, "I will obey your decrees." And crying out to God, "Please don't give up on me!" He knows he's messed up many times before and he is passionately crying out to the Lord to not give up on him.
So. Much. Emotion.
Passages like this are a big part of why I identify with David. I feel like he gets it. Gets me. It reminds me that if God can use David, then he can use me too. The devil likes to tell lies and plant seeds of doubt to make us think we've messed up too many times. God won't forgive you this time, or if you can't handle x, y, and z, how are you strong enough to be used by God? These lies try to keep us frozen, but thankfully, David had this really great habit, where he always ran back to the Lord. He always recognized that he couldn't do it without God. Sometimes I try to handle things in my own strength. It's in these times that I feel the most stressed and anxious, and it's in these times that things most often seem to fall apart. When I make like David and run back to God, everything else makes sense.
Literally.
The puzzle pieces that I've been forcing to fit? They fit. It just works. I wonder how many times I'm going to have to fall on my face till I finally figure out that God's ways are truly the best ways. Judging by this passage, David needed to remind himself plenty that following the Lord's decrees brings joy. I'm guessing that wasn't the first time he needed reminding and it wasn't the last. It won't be the last time for me either. I'm so thankful that God always welcomes me back and forgives me when I run back to him. I'm thankful for the example of David, who stumbled so many times but got back up again and again. I'm thankful that God can handle my emotions and loves me more than I can ever imagine.
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