The Pursuit.

I write a lot about Christians being different, how we are supposed to be a light to this world and not blend in.. but as I finished writing the previous post I started thinking.. what is our motivation? What is it exactly that makes us different? I know the answer to that question for myself, but can I explain it? Can I put it into words? That's the hard part. At least for me it is. I wish that just for a minute you could get a snapshot of what my relationship with the Lord feels like. I wish you could feel how I feel for him. I don't use myself as an example out of pride. I know others who have intimacy with the Lord also. In truth, I am a poor role model, I still have so much to learn and I stumble and fall more often than I walk the straight and narrow. I am far from perfect. Picture the greatest romance you could ever imagine. Better than Edward and Bella, better than Beauty and the Beast, better than any real life or movie romance you have ever seen or experienced. ...

Christians, aren't we supposed to be different from the rest of the world? When was the last time you read in your Bible, "be in this world, and look just like them."? No.. Jesus called us to be in this world but not of it. There's a huge difference. Being in this world simply means that we live here, albeit temporarily. Being of the world is becoming a citizen of it. Buying in to what this world stands for. That's not what we as Christians are called to. We aren't called to be popular or politically correct. In fact, when I read stories about great missionaries, almost all of them were "out there." People thought they were crazy. They did things that were unwise in the eyes of the world. Maybe they even did things that were considered stupid. But God doesn't see it that way. He calls the wisdom of this world foolishness. True wisdom is in trusting the Lord with all things. God is not a rational God. Since when did following him have to make ...

I wish that I could honestly tell you that I don't care what others think of me. I wish I didn't care so much about what my future looks like. I admit I want that security.. I want a nice house and nice things. Is that such a horrible thing? No, I suppose it's not horrible. I just know that for me, my tendency is to want something so much that I idolize it. I don't EVER want to want something that badly except for the Lord. I have found lately with my hectic schedule, I miss simpler times. I miss being a missionary in Amsterdam and having to live on other people's generosity. I was the poorest (financially speaking) during those 6 months that I have ever been in my life. But I was also the least stressed during that time in my life. I miss that. I'm not saying we should all go be missionaries.. but I want to somehow get back to that mindset. I don't even know how I lost it. I just know that I came home and all of the sudden I needed to work and I needed ...

I don't have anything eloquent or thought provoking to say tonight. I just want to say one thing. I am so thankful for the Lord in my life. No, I'm not saying that just because it's Thanksgiving. I'm saying that, because right now I feel like a mess, and I feel like I am falling apart more than just a little, but despite it all I have peace in knowing that the Lord has me in His hands and He is trustworthy. I can't see the light yet, but I know that even though I don't understand where I am at the moment, He sees the bigger picture and He is carrying me through it. I am comforted by this, because that means I don't have to hold it all together on my own. It means I don't have to try to be perfect, because I'm not, and I don't have to put on a happy face all the time. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to have a good cry once in awhile. It's okay to struggle. It's what I do with it in the end that matters. Thank you, Father, for al...

It's really late. Or perhaps the right way to put that is that it's really early. Either way, I am just now going to bed but I have something on my heart that I want to share first. I don't even know where to begin, I just know that my heart is breaking for the lost and for those in bondage, physical and spiritual alike. Tonight the Lord reminded me of what he has done in my life, and reminded me of what I live for. I have been struggling lately with putting other things first, but tonight I really got down to it and asked myself, "Why do I do what I do? What is my purpose and why am I here?" I know the answers to these questions, but sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and forget. I was reminded tonight. I feel overwhelmed when I think about how huge the need is in this world for people to shine God's light. The harvest is plenty but the workers are few. I know for myself I have not been doing a very good job of shining the Lord...