Trusting God with my finances
I wish that I could honestly tell you that I don't care what others think of me. I wish I didn't care so much about what my future looks like. I admit I want that security.. I want a nice house and nice things. Is that such a horrible thing?
No, I suppose it's not horrible. I just know that for me, my tendency is to want something so much that I idolize it. I don't EVER want to want something that badly except for the Lord. I have found lately with my hectic schedule, I miss simpler times. I miss being a missionary in Amsterdam and having to live on other people's generosity. I was the poorest (financially speaking) during those 6 months that I have ever been in my life. But I was also the least stressed during that time in my life. I miss that.
I'm not saying we should all go be missionaries.. but I want to somehow get back to that mindset. I don't even know how I lost it. I just know that I came home and all of the sudden I needed to work and I needed to be in control of my finances again. All of the sudden I had bills that needed to be paid again. It's not even the bills that are such a problem. To live life in this world, money is necessary. What I really hate though is the control that finances seem to have over my life. Where do I find the balance between wisdom and foolishness in the area of finances?
I don't have answers for any of these questions. I know only one thing to be true. I need to put my trust in the Lord above all things. The world sees this as foolishness. I hear arguments like, "God gave you a brain, so you should use it. Be smart." While there is truth to that, the Lord calls us to have faith like a child. A child doesn't have to work and struggle to make ends meet. A child simply believes and trusts that her father will provide for her. I want to go back to that childlike faith.
It's ironic that in some areas I am so good at having childlike faith. But in other areas, I really struggle. I know I am not perfect. I definitely don't claim to have the answers for everything. But I know as much as any human can possibly be sure of anything, that if I simply have faith like a child my needs will be met. It doesn't have to make sense. Logistically it's actually quite foolish. The only people that should have to depend on the Lord financially are missionaries and pastors right? Wrong. We all need to trust the Lord with every aspect of our lives. Trust is such an easy word to throw around but when it comes down to it trust is very hard to live out. I wish I had some formula for how to make it easier. All I know is that it's worth it. And He IS trustworthy. =)
-Jessie
No, I suppose it's not horrible. I just know that for me, my tendency is to want something so much that I idolize it. I don't EVER want to want something that badly except for the Lord. I have found lately with my hectic schedule, I miss simpler times. I miss being a missionary in Amsterdam and having to live on other people's generosity. I was the poorest (financially speaking) during those 6 months that I have ever been in my life. But I was also the least stressed during that time in my life. I miss that.
I'm not saying we should all go be missionaries.. but I want to somehow get back to that mindset. I don't even know how I lost it. I just know that I came home and all of the sudden I needed to work and I needed to be in control of my finances again. All of the sudden I had bills that needed to be paid again. It's not even the bills that are such a problem. To live life in this world, money is necessary. What I really hate though is the control that finances seem to have over my life. Where do I find the balance between wisdom and foolishness in the area of finances?
I don't have answers for any of these questions. I know only one thing to be true. I need to put my trust in the Lord above all things. The world sees this as foolishness. I hear arguments like, "God gave you a brain, so you should use it. Be smart." While there is truth to that, the Lord calls us to have faith like a child. A child doesn't have to work and struggle to make ends meet. A child simply believes and trusts that her father will provide for her. I want to go back to that childlike faith.
It's ironic that in some areas I am so good at having childlike faith. But in other areas, I really struggle. I know I am not perfect. I definitely don't claim to have the answers for everything. But I know as much as any human can possibly be sure of anything, that if I simply have faith like a child my needs will be met. It doesn't have to make sense. Logistically it's actually quite foolish. The only people that should have to depend on the Lord financially are missionaries and pastors right? Wrong. We all need to trust the Lord with every aspect of our lives. Trust is such an easy word to throw around but when it comes down to it trust is very hard to live out. I wish I had some formula for how to make it easier. All I know is that it's worth it. And He IS trustworthy. =)
-Jessie
Comments