The Pursuit.

     After Levi arrived, time slowed. James left my side to be with Levi, (we had previously discussed I wanted him to go with the babies once they were born) and my mom came beside me. I remember seeing James across the room looking towards Levi and then looking towards me with a look on his face that seemed like he was split in two. I’ll never forget that look.  My midwife broke my water for Caleb. This is where is gets a little crazy. As my water broke, Caleb’s cord rushed out or prolapsed. This is very dangerous, as it can cut off blood supply to the baby. It happened so fast but also seemed like slow motion. I hear my midwife say, “we have cord” and then it was all hands on deck. Adrenaline kicked in and I knew it didn’t matter how much it hurt, I had to get my baby out asap. Caleb was born at 5:07pm. A mere 5 minutes after Levi. 5 of the longest and scariest minutes of my life. He came out red and cried pretty quickly. And he was bigger than Levi at 5lb even. S...

     I was not prepared for what would happen once we got to the hospital. We went to admissions, after which a nurse came and took me back to be checked in. I was starting to get scared at this point and struggling to stay at peace. I was not allowed to have my mom or James with me during the check in process, so I was alone with the nurse and started to cry. Contractions were made worse by my fear and I was tensing up with each one. I wish I remembered this nurse’s name so I could thank her for how she helped me. When I started to cry I squeezed my eyes shut during a contraction and she said something that truly helped me through the rest of labor. She told me to open my eyes and focus on looking at something across the room during contractions. Such a simple instruction that helped get me out of my head enough to calm down and remember the things I’d prayed for for labor, one of which, was that I would stay at peace.  The details are a bit fuzzy in some places, bu...

    The story of Levi and Caleb’s birth starts long before they actually arrived, on April 20, 2022.  It starts with years of hoping and praying for a baby, only to see negative after negative pregnancy test. Month after month of nothing despite almost 5 years of research, testing, diet changes, supplements, and doctors suggesting everything from iui to bariatric surgery. All of the testing James and I had came back normal. I tried every “natural” thing I could, some of which were great, like exercising and eating healthier. Still nothing. James and I considered our options and in the summer of 2021 I made an appointment with a fertility specialist to start medicated cycles. That appointment was scheduled for December 2021. I gave up and decided to stop tracking, stop “trying” and just wait for this appointment. I gave everything to the Lord and chose to trust him (again) with James and my desire to be parents.  In September 2021, my period was a little late. No...