The Pursuit.

Goals. So apparently they don't happen overnight? Who knew? I've had this goal of getting healthy and losing weight for some time now. Actually, I don't really remember ever not having that as a goal. And yet, today I am 26 and the at the heaviest weight I have ever been. I find that statement incredibly sad and depressing. However I am not surprised. I have tried more diets than I care to remember, I have had multiple gym memberships over the years, and I have even tried doctor supervised weight loss which included appetite suppressants and B12 shots. Nothing has worked long term. Why not? That's what I am trying to figure out, but an article I read tonight suggests that I am where I am today because I don't actually want  to lose weight. Well that's silly, of course I want to lose weight. My actions prove otherwise. Basically what this guy says in this article is that if you really want something  you go and do it. Someone who says, "I want to start a...

So tonight as I was talking to God, our conversation went something like this.. Me- I am afraid that I will never be where I should be, like I am destined to be a failure. It feels like every time I think I am making progress something happens and it all falls apart. Is it always going to be this way? Will I always be like this? God- Yes. You are going to fail. But your failures do not define you. I am not disappointed in you when you fail. You are defined by my love for you and by the way you run to me after you make those mistakes. Your utter dependence on me is beautiful. I have designed  you to need me. It is so freeing to hear that. I am really learning a lot lately about trusting the Lord and allowing him to be on control of my life. He is sovereign over everything; now I am learning to stop pretending I am the one in control. Sometimes I get this crazy idea in my head that I hold my own life in my hands. Thankfully it doesn't work that way or else I think I would real...