The Pursuit.

A blessing in disguise.. my psychology class involves a large amount of writing. At least a 2-3 page paper every week. Before this semester started I realized that I missed having a class that required me to write. Writing is a kind of therapy for me.. and when I don't write a lot I notice that my ability to write well decreases. I also notice that when I write frequently I get better at expressing myself in other areas. For instance, when I write, not only does my writing style improve, but my vocabulary and my speech improves. I feel more confident in how I speak because I am used to speaking/communicating more frequently. I took a Journalism class a few semesters ago. During that semester when a friend of mine came home on fall break, she noticed that my speaking style had changed. I was using a better vocabulary, stuttering less, and just in general expressing myself more clearly. I hadn't even realized the change but it was there. Unfortunately when that class ended my w...

I have to ask myself.. am I desperate enough for change that I am willing to allow God to change me? Am I willing to give up complete control of myself so that others see Christ in me and not just me? Am I willing to discipline myself and crucify my flesh DAILY so that I can be TRULY led by His Holy Spirit and not by my fallen flesh? And last.. when the trials that WILL come from living this way arrive on my doorstep; will I run to the Lord, the One who is above all? Or will I melt in fear and be reduced to a doormat for the enemy to walk over? Jesus, forgive my unbelief!!! Be my strength because without You I have none! Use me, as You have ordained, and help me to be humble and submitted to Your will for my life! THANK YOU for loving me with Your everlasting love and thank you that nothing I can do can make me deserve your love!! You give it freely! I love You so so much!! There are no words to describe the awesomeness of who You are and how much my spirit yearns for constant fellow...

I am tired of mediocrity. I am tired of floating along in a sea of comfort. Jesus didn't call me to live a comfortable life, neither did He choose me so that I could feel safe. He called me to step out of my comfort zone and step into His grace. He called me to step into a place where only by His strength I can survive. I cannot say that my flesh is very excited about getting to that place.. but my spirit longs to have that close communion with God that only comes when I lean on Him completely and let Him truly lead me. Lord, I need Your help on this one! There is no way I can ever get to where I need to be, where my spirit longs to be, without Your help! I cannot make this journey alone, and I don't want to even try to. Please help me to walk in Your grace and be sensitive to Your voice in my life... -Jessie