In the belly of a whale.
“No procrastination. No backward looks. You can't put God's kingdom off till tomorrow. Seize the day!" (Luke 9:62 MSG)
Ugh.. so convicted right now. Sometimes following the Lord's will is exactly the opposite of what I want to do. I have been battling with the Lord over a decision that I already know the answer to but don't like. I have never dealt with something like this before where I have been in physical agony over something the Lord has called me to do but I so desperately don't want to. I have been running from it for awhile now and I can't run anymore. I have to stop procrastinating. Right about now I wonder how Jonah felt when God told him to go to Nineveh. He had to have known that what God wanted him to do was the right thing and yet he ran in the opposite direction. Just like I have been trying to do. For the first time, I think I understood a little of how Jonah felt in that moment. In the past I have always thought of Jonah as being prideful and selfish. How could he argue with God? Yet, I have done the same thing. I have been acting prideful and selfish. But the thing is, I'm pretty sure Jonah had a good heart somewhere in there. Because I know for me, I really really want the Lord's will for my life. I want it so bad it's like something inside me hurts when I don't have it. In the past I have always had such peace in knowing the Lord's will for my life. This time it's different. I have peace because I know God is sovereign and will take good care of me. But I don't want to do what he wants me to do! It's not like he's asked me to do something horrible or anything. It's just not what my flesh wants. It wants the easier way. But my spirit wants God's way and so I have been at war within myself. I'm pretty sure that's close to how Jonah felt. We all know where he ended up. In a whale. Not exactly what I want God to have to do to get my attention. *cue corny Newsboys music* "In the belly of a whale..." haha. That was my attempt to interject a bit of humor. Epic fail.
I know that's God's plans for me are good. I have no doubt. I know that when I follow the Lord's will for my life he'll take me on the greatest adventure of my life. His adventures are far greater than anything I could ever come up with. I want that! Uuugghhhh I can freaking taste it I want it so bad. So I guess this is a lesson in trust and perseverance. Do I trust the Lord enough to help me to not only get through what he has called me to, but to thrive and live a life overflowing with joy in the midst of a circumstance that wouldn't have been my first choice? Will I choose to persevere through trials in order to gain the prize?
Lord help me to have heavenly vision and desire your plans for my life. I know your ways are good. I want to walk in your will even when doing so leads me down a road that I don't understand. Even when that road isn't all bunnies and roses, I want it. Please help me to have joy in trials and to keep my eyes on you. I want to gaze upon your beauty all the days of my life. =) You make all this worth it. I love you. Thank you for loving me so much.
-Jessie
Ugh.. so convicted right now. Sometimes following the Lord's will is exactly the opposite of what I want to do. I have been battling with the Lord over a decision that I already know the answer to but don't like. I have never dealt with something like this before where I have been in physical agony over something the Lord has called me to do but I so desperately don't want to. I have been running from it for awhile now and I can't run anymore. I have to stop procrastinating. Right about now I wonder how Jonah felt when God told him to go to Nineveh. He had to have known that what God wanted him to do was the right thing and yet he ran in the opposite direction. Just like I have been trying to do. For the first time, I think I understood a little of how Jonah felt in that moment. In the past I have always thought of Jonah as being prideful and selfish. How could he argue with God? Yet, I have done the same thing. I have been acting prideful and selfish. But the thing is, I'm pretty sure Jonah had a good heart somewhere in there. Because I know for me, I really really want the Lord's will for my life. I want it so bad it's like something inside me hurts when I don't have it. In the past I have always had such peace in knowing the Lord's will for my life. This time it's different. I have peace because I know God is sovereign and will take good care of me. But I don't want to do what he wants me to do! It's not like he's asked me to do something horrible or anything. It's just not what my flesh wants. It wants the easier way. But my spirit wants God's way and so I have been at war within myself. I'm pretty sure that's close to how Jonah felt. We all know where he ended up. In a whale. Not exactly what I want God to have to do to get my attention. *cue corny Newsboys music* "In the belly of a whale..." haha. That was my attempt to interject a bit of humor. Epic fail.
I know that's God's plans for me are good. I have no doubt. I know that when I follow the Lord's will for my life he'll take me on the greatest adventure of my life. His adventures are far greater than anything I could ever come up with. I want that! Uuugghhhh I can freaking taste it I want it so bad. So I guess this is a lesson in trust and perseverance. Do I trust the Lord enough to help me to not only get through what he has called me to, but to thrive and live a life overflowing with joy in the midst of a circumstance that wouldn't have been my first choice? Will I choose to persevere through trials in order to gain the prize?
Lord help me to have heavenly vision and desire your plans for my life. I know your ways are good. I want to walk in your will even when doing so leads me down a road that I don't understand. Even when that road isn't all bunnies and roses, I want it. Please help me to have joy in trials and to keep my eyes on you. I want to gaze upon your beauty all the days of my life. =) You make all this worth it. I love you. Thank you for loving me so much.
-Jessie
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