Crossroads

Why is it so difficult for me to hear God's direction for my life? When I pray for other people, or any circumstance other than my own I hear His voice so clearly and I when I speak he speaks through me. But when I begin praying for direction in my life I am constantly confused. I'll get impressions of things, but later another impression that contradicts the first. I have received an abundance of wise advice from all sorts of people in my life; and it's all good advice, but it's all vague. It's as if I'm being given clues to a puzzle and I'm supposed to decode the clues before I can go on to the next one. It's so frustrating! I know it's impatient of me, but I want an answer now! My spirit is willing and I feel this urgency within me to chase after whatever it is God has for me; if only He would tell me what that is!

Sometimes I think that maybe I don't really believe that God will tell me His plan for me. I see friends of mine on the path God has set for them and though they struggle sometimes and doubt, they always seem sure of the path they are on. Why do I feel so lost? I feel like there are about 5 different paths I could take right now, each one being a "good" choice. I don't care about that. Which one is the right choice? That's all I want to know. Maybe I'm being pigheaded and impatient. Maybe God has already shown me what I'm supposed to do but I am so afraid to make the wrong decision that I can't see it right now.

God, I get so impatient and I need your help! I want to seek after only You and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you taking care of me always. In my head I know that already, but insecurities plague me and even now I wonder why you want to use me?

Jesus, please help me to be still! Help me to learn to rest in your presence and know that you are everything I need and could ever want.

-Jessie

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