how to be great.

What's been on my mind lately: marriage and children. I know, that seems to be what I think about a lot lately, but it seems so prevalent lately and I've not had any peace about it until recently. I'm the type of person who will think things over and over again and continually pray things over and talk things over until I get some sort of solution to the situation. The same held true for this. On Father's day of all days, I was sitting in church with my parents and the sermon really struck me. The ironic thing is that the sermon was entitled, "How to be a great dad." Haha, not something you'd think would hold a huge amount of revelation for a 21 year old single girl, but in my case that's just what happened. The funny thing is that I don't even remember exactly what was said that was the "aha" moment for me, but I do know that everything sort of makes sense to me now. Before I was in turmoil over even being married. I was tormented by questions and fears such as, "Will I be a good wife? Who would even want to marry someone like me? I don't want to be a mother because I'm afraid I'll abuse my children. I don't want to be like my mom." Now I've realized after listening to that sermon that what it takes to make a great parent, whether it be a father or mother, is Jesus. The speaker for the sermon told a story about his father, and how his father was really strict and put "the dear of God" in him. But his father did not know Jesus, so he was not able to model what a godly man should look like. In a nut shell, the recipe for being a great parent is you+Jesus-pride. You know the saying, "you will become who you spend your time with," the same applies to parenting. I don't know why it didn't click for me before, but it does now. All those fears I have about marriage and children may have some merit, but I serve an awesome God who is greater than my fears. So basically what I learned, which makes me feel silly because of it's simplicity, is that if I keep my eyes on the prize, Jesus, and if I stay focused on becoming more like Him, I have no need to worry about marriage or children. Because God will show me what to do. That's not to say I'll never makes mistakes. The title of the sermon wasn't "How to be a perfect dad," it was how to be great. I know I will make mistakes in my marriage and in parenting my children, but I also know that nothing is impossible with God and that means that I don't have to be like my mom. That means that I can be a good wife. The key and essential ingredient is Jesus. That's it.

It kills me how simple it really is. People try to make christianity into some complicated religion with all these "thou shalt nots" and such, but when it comes down to it, it's as simple as looking up to God, reaching out your hand and allowing Him to guide the way. Thankfully we are not without a road map! God so graciously provided the Bible for direction. We have it made! All we have to do is believe, repent, and follow! How cool is that?! Wow I feel so unworthy.

God, thank you so much for revealing yourself to me each and every day. You are so awesome and worthy of praise. Sometimes I feel as if I am going to burst from the knowledge of just how big you are. Thank you for loving me and caring enough about me to sacrifice everything just for me. You're amazing! Lord, please help me to be a beacon of your light. My heart's desire is to show everyone around me just how awesome you are. When the time comes give me the right words to say. Let me be like a microphone, so that you can speak through me. =) I love you Jesus.

Jessie